Life

This fucking sucks. I know i brought it on myself, and if I could go back and change it, I would. I'd do anything to fix what's happening. I feel like a divorced husband who's given everything to his ex-wife. At the worst possible time, I have nobody around. Everyone is busy or all having fun with Ivan. I can't see my own friends because I lack the capacity to keep my fucking mouth shut. I can't even remember the last time I felt so alone. It's only been about a week or two since i last saw everyone, but even that is far too long to be away from people like them. I just don't want to be in this city anymore. I need to get away from everything, go somewhere where nobody knows me. Make friends with mediocre people who i won't miss when they're away, who won't care if I'm not around. Just live a life where i don't have to deal with this shit. Fuck it all.